For the first time since Tyler and I started dating, I stayed home for Easter. And Tyler came in town. I could tell my mom was super excited about it when we were discussing everything the Sunday before. And to be honest I was too. I love Tyler's family, but my family doesn't even begin to compare. They are mine. I love everything about them. I went and bought Easter eggs, candy, and baskets for the 6 "kids." It was my first hunt in probably a decade. Not gonna lie. Mom had planned this huge lunch for all of us too. And my aunt and uncle who live in New York were home. My mom's big brother. It was really nice to see her so happy. All three of her kids, my boyfriend, my step-dad, her parents, her sister & family, and her brother & wife all together at HER home for Easter. It was good for me to be home with MY family.
Today I got a text from my mom expressing her love for us three kids. If I hadn't been working when I got that I probably would have cried, instead I smiled. I love my momma. She is awesome.
So I started the whole "soul search" because I was confused as to who I am. I finally broke it down to, I have to get over my daddy issues. But today I realized, how do I have daddy issues when the greatest dad a kid could have was my momma?
Once again, I was watching How I Met Your Mother when I discovered this. I'm not going to go into anything about the episode, but it made me realize...
My mom was both parents to me, almost my entire life. I was 18 and already in college is when I finally started developing a relationship with my dad. And I was 20 when he broke my heart, shattered every idea I had of him, and disowned me. My mom raised me. And I helped her raise those two amazing kids that are my siblings. They are my entire world. I have no idea what I would do without those kids. But most of all, what I would do without my amazing momma!
Only since last summer have my mom and I really started to have a friendship. I was never a rebellious child, but if you looked at mine and my mom's relationship you would probably assume that. I barely talked to her, when I did it was usually negative and rude, I avoided her like the plague, I swore I knew everything better than she did, and for some odd reason I usually favored my dad over her.
The part that I was missing is my mom was home every night at a reasonable hour, made or helped us make dinner, worked 40 hours a week, went to every little league practice and game we had, every PTA meeting, luncheon & breakfast, every play, skit, or band competition, also trying to manage a marriage, and two step-kids. Ummm hello...where's the super mom award? Not to mention she was a mom to all of our friends as well. Everyone wanted to hang out at our house and have parties at our house because my mom was awesome. When I went to Thailand after graduation, my best friend Traci & my boyfriend at the time went and hung out with my mom a few times just so she wasn't completely alone. It was the first time since she was 21 that she was completely alone for a week. No husband and no kids. I can't imagine how that much have felt for her. But she made it through. She was a trooper.
Now after I have lost touch with most of my friends from high school, they still see my mom out in public and they give her a hug like there is no lost time. She was the town mom. And the best one at that. I remember there being around 30 teenage kids in that house at one point and time, and the only complaint she had was that we were too loud as she washed all those dishes. That was her only complaint actually. We were too loud. To this day, my friends and I still get in trouble for being too loud. But I always laugh and apologize. What else can you do?
Now all of us are moved out, but every Sunday we still get together at Mom's for dinner. And we hang out and watch TV til we start to leave one-by-one. I always feel bad leaving her at the end of the night. But you know what, maybe after 20 years of kids being too loud, she's finally enjoying her little house all alone with her dog and a glass of wine.
Yeah who am I kidding...she's immediately in the spare room cleaning up after my brother staying there that weekend. But does she complain? Well yeah a little, but she loves it. She just loves us kids. And all I can ever hope for is to be half as cool, loving, and absolutely amazing as my mom when I have kids. She is such a strong and empowering individual and I am so blessed to call her my mom.
So daddy issues set aside. My mom is awesome. I just have to continue building this amazing relationship with her, and I'll find myself in no time.
:) See ya on the flip side, mi amigos!
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