Here is a link to a video of Creed's song, "With Arms Wide Open."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99j0zLuNhi8&ob=av2n
If you aren't familiar with the song follow that link to listen to the song. I don't recommend the video (I personally thought it was kinda gay.).
When I was younger, my dad told me anytime I hear that song to think of him. Now some 10+ years down the road when I want nothing more to not think of him...that song brings everything back. I was listening to it today at work and I'm not going to apologize for what came into my head, but this is literally what I thought...
I really hate this song. He is such a douche for making me think of him every time I hear this song. Why is he such an ass? Why is this song playing? I'll teach you everything? This is a joke!!! You taught me nothing but how to be spiteful.
And my world came crashing down with that one word...spiteful. I am a very spiteful child. I can hold a grudge like no other and I have down a darn good job at it over the last year. I have held a grudge on my dad, his new wife, and her son. I say nothing nice about my dad these days. Not that I have much of a reason to. I am an evil, sinful child. So sinful. And so spiteful. Can you imagine how much energy I use up daily to stay angry with him? Heck no wonder why I am always tired...I'm probably not anemic, I'm just spiteful and angry.
I watch all of these dads go shopping with their daughters and I become to envious of it. I never had that. My dad was/is a slave to his job. I used to get so pissed when my friends would talk so much crap about their dads because they grounded her or punished her. I never got any of that. I was 20 when I got punished by my dad for the first time...I was disowned. Disowned for finally sticking up for myself, my sister, and my brother. For finally telling the truth about how I felt. I just wanted a dad who cared to know me. But instead I got the total opposite. I got the hand.
I am working on transforming my anger into something else. Something more useful and probably involves less energy usage daily. I don't like being spiteful. Trust me...it's not a good feeling. I don't want to jealous of girls half my age either. I want to be happy for them. In order for me to be able to do that though...I have to network all that anger differently. Maybe I'll start mentoring. I have Nichole. I can start with her and continue with some other girls as well. They need to know they are loved by their Heavenly Father as well.
No earthly man, husband or father, should ever take God's place in your heart.
My dad did, but I'm working on that...
God Bless :)
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Believe What You Can't See
I think by now we have established a good enough friendship that you know that I am a devout Christian. Not only do I love my Lord, but I try my very best to live a life He would be proud of. And I plan on Mastering in Childhood Ministry. I was raised in the same small Southern Baptist church until I was a freshman in college. From the time that I was born until my parents divorced my mom taught Sunday school. My mom was at church every Sunday morning & evening and Wednesday evenings. When my parents divorced, my mom was shunned from the church. They told her they didn't know how to deal with divorce. But Mom continued to send us to church for everything.
Notice in all of that I never mentioned my dad being in church. This is because my mom begged my dad to come with us all the time, but he always had an excuse. On July 11th, 1999, I was baptized. My dad came to witness that, and decided to join the church that same day. I honestly believe he did this as a last attempt to save their marriage. They had already been split up most of the summer. I think we had just moved back into the house when all of this took place. (That was a bad summer so I've suppressed so many of those memories so well that I can't remember them even when I want to.) My parents kept us kids so in the dark about all of this though. Understandably so, considering I was 8 at the time. Which made my sister and brother 7 and 6. Anyways, that was one of the few times I remember my dad being present in church with us including holidays.
Until very recently, I always thought it was just because my dad didn't like the church. After some hard talks with my sister and a shocking revelation (shocking on my part that is), I have come to realize why my dad has never really been to church with us. And why he always had a demeaning manner about him when talking to me about my future career or made excuses why we weren't going to church the next morning when I would go visit him and his now-wife. My dad is Atheist. Apparently my sister has known for a long time. I guess I on the other hand never wanted to believe that so I never considered it. It explains why my dad always acted as if I have a holier-than-thou attitude though.
My dad grew up with two very loving and Christian parents and 4 brothers. I am not sure my dad and his brothers ever heard his parents cuss. In fact, I think the only word I have ever heard either one use was hell. They are in church every Sunday and my grandfather is a deacon. They read scripture daily and speak of the Lord often. I know for a fact those boys got up and got dressed for church every Sunday morning as long as the lived with my grandparents. It shocking to me that someone who lived that way doesn't believe.
I pray that my dad may one day believe and I hope to see him in Heaven. I'd hate to think he'd be burning in hell for the rest of eternity. But as of right now all I can do is continue to pray for him, and allow God to work around him. I can't even have a normal conversation with him (or a conversation at all for that matter) at the moment, much less talk to him about God. So all I can do is pray. I trust that this is all in God's plan.
May God continue to Bless you, and you continue to grow in Him!
Notice in all of that I never mentioned my dad being in church. This is because my mom begged my dad to come with us all the time, but he always had an excuse. On July 11th, 1999, I was baptized. My dad came to witness that, and decided to join the church that same day. I honestly believe he did this as a last attempt to save their marriage. They had already been split up most of the summer. I think we had just moved back into the house when all of this took place. (That was a bad summer so I've suppressed so many of those memories so well that I can't remember them even when I want to.) My parents kept us kids so in the dark about all of this though. Understandably so, considering I was 8 at the time. Which made my sister and brother 7 and 6. Anyways, that was one of the few times I remember my dad being present in church with us including holidays.
Until very recently, I always thought it was just because my dad didn't like the church. After some hard talks with my sister and a shocking revelation (shocking on my part that is), I have come to realize why my dad has never really been to church with us. And why he always had a demeaning manner about him when talking to me about my future career or made excuses why we weren't going to church the next morning when I would go visit him and his now-wife. My dad is Atheist. Apparently my sister has known for a long time. I guess I on the other hand never wanted to believe that so I never considered it. It explains why my dad always acted as if I have a holier-than-thou attitude though.
My dad grew up with two very loving and Christian parents and 4 brothers. I am not sure my dad and his brothers ever heard his parents cuss. In fact, I think the only word I have ever heard either one use was hell. They are in church every Sunday and my grandfather is a deacon. They read scripture daily and speak of the Lord often. I know for a fact those boys got up and got dressed for church every Sunday morning as long as the lived with my grandparents. It shocking to me that someone who lived that way doesn't believe.
I pray that my dad may one day believe and I hope to see him in Heaven. I'd hate to think he'd be burning in hell for the rest of eternity. But as of right now all I can do is continue to pray for him, and allow God to work around him. I can't even have a normal conversation with him (or a conversation at all for that matter) at the moment, much less talk to him about God. So all I can do is pray. I trust that this is all in God's plan.
May God continue to Bless you, and you continue to grow in Him!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Did We Just Become Best Friends?!
I am listening to Sara Evan's song "Perfect" right now. I love this song. I always have. Tyler and I don't have a perfect relationship, and this song reminds me that it is okay. As long as we love each other, then that in itself makes our love perfect.
Last night I made (pardon my french) an ass out of myself. Seriously if Tyler wasn't so understanding and an amazing boyfriend, I'd probably be single right now or in a HUGE fight. I'm not going into details as to what happened because I'd rather not relive that...it's pretty embarrassing on my part.
I've come to realize over the last month or so not only are Tyler and I finally for the first time in our relationship on the same page, but we truly enjoy time together. In a long distance relationship this can mean actual physical time, texting, phone calls, or Skyping. In the past, yes we have enjoyed each others company but we also were very selfish with and took advantage of it. We were together nearly everyday. When we weren't together we were usually fighting...over stupid things. One time Tyler and I went almost a week without seeing each other because he wanted me to come over to his house every night when I got off work. That meant I had worked at 8 hour shift, while he'd been sitting in class, playing video games, and/or working out. It would about 10:15 when I'd get off so that would put me at his house around 10:40. I usually had class the next morning at 8 am. Which meant I had to be up at 6 because I had to leave my house by 7:15 to avoid the school traffic and not get stuck in Robinson. Oh and my drive from Tyler's apartment to my house was easily a 30 minute drive, one night it took me an hour because the interstate was jammed. So I got fed up with having almost no sleep and nearly falling asleep at the wheel, I told him he could come see me or we wouldn't see each other that week. By Thursday he figured out I wasn't playing games and asked if he could come over. I explained to him I had plans to go out with some friends. That wasn't Tyler's scene so I knew he would not be going. Luckily I was off work the next day, and guess who was calling me at noon asking if we could get lunch and hang out for the day? Yep, my man!
He learned a valuable lesson...don't test me. I am not one to fall to test anxiety. I test extremely well without studying, and when I have studied...let's just say an A+ is nothing new to me! ;)
Anyways...I went up to see Tyler the weekend after his birthday. The first time since he moved, probably, that we spent 48 hours together. It was amazing!! We went out to eat Friday night and enjoyed each other's company followed by Pink Berry Frozen Yougart! And more laughing and talking. Saturday, I took Tyler to my favorite mall, NorthPark, and we went to the candy store. We got all of his favorite candies...except pez. Even a jawbreaker the size of my fist. He still hasn't decided the best way to eat it. Haha! When we left the mall it had started raining and we were both very hungry. So we continued to drive around Dallas for the next hour "looking" for somewhere to eat. We finally just went to Irving and grabbed hamburgers at Griff's.
During all of that though, Tyler and I both loosened up around each other and were joking and laughing and he was annoying the crap out of me. But it felt right. It felt like US again. At one point during our driving around aimlessly, Tyler looked over at me with the biggest smile and said, "You have missed me annoying you haven't you?" As he grabbed my hand to kiss it, I shamelessly had to admit...I missed him annoying me. I missed laughing with him and at him. I just missed being a couple.
Later that night, we met up with one of Tyler's best friends, Jacob. I love Jacob. He's a great friend to Tyler...and myself. I mean the guy came and celebrated my 21st with me! Good times. Anyways, while we were out and all three of us were laughing and talking and having a good time, Tyler stepped away for a minute...I guess to go to the bathroom, who really knows. Jacob put his arm around me, and asked if Tyler and I were doing okay. I FROZE! All I could think about was Tyler told him we weren't doing okay. And I gave him a half smile and said yes. He replied, "Good! I'm proud of you guys. Long distance is hard." And he continued, "You are my favorite of Tyler's girlfriends." Umm hi, did we just become best friends?! Stupid me all I could think to say was, "Awww! Jacob you're so sweet thank you." Freaking idiot. Your boyfriend's best friend just gave you the compliment of a lifetime and that's all you can say?! We hugged after I said that though, and just in time for Tyler to rejoin the group.
Sunday when I got ready to leave was hard though. We sat on the couch beside each other not saying anything. I hate that. We both know what's coming. Neither one of us wants to stat it so we avoid it as long as possible. Finally it got to be about that time so I walked to my room to gather my things. Tyler followed to help me carry them to my car. We loaded it up. Still not saying anything to each other, both silently hoping one of us had a good reason I should stay longer. I walked back and finally we both spoke. I told his Parents goodbye and thank you for allowing me to stay in their home. I checked my room one more time. Then we walked out to my car. I opened my door and laid everything down in the passenger floor board still attempting to avoid the matter at hand, but it couldn't wait any longer. Tyler pulled me into his arms for a long hug and kissed my forehead. We said our goodbyes and kissed. I pulled him back for one more hug and kiss. I quickly climbed in my car to avoid him seeing the tears in my eyes that were about to hit full force. I put my sunglasses on and managed to hold the tears in til I hit the highway. Then it was like the great flood the whole way home. I made it home in record time that day...1 hour 10 minutes. I'm not ashamed either.
The next week was the worst for me though. How was I suppose to handle having the best weekend ever and having to return home without him?! Well I dealt with it the way I deal with most hard things in my life. 1.) I really prayed about it. I talked to God almost constantly about it. & 2.) I avoided the subject like the plague. This is not a joke. I literally avoided the topic of my weekend for almost a week. Someone asked how it went, I replied with one word like, good or great, awesome. I was in the worst mood. But God talked back to me, and I AGAIN had to realize, that Tyler and I are called to live apart for awhile. At the moment I am called to live here, and he is called to live up there. And we both need to be respectable to what the Lord has asked of our relationship.
This isn't easy for us. But it's just another test for us. And as I said before, I excel at tests. I do not crack under pressure. I know God has a plan for our lives. I just have to respect God's decision to keep us in the dark as to when we will be reunited.
As of right now, the plan is for Tyler to work up there and get into Fire Academy while I am finishing school down here. As soon as I graduate, I plan to get a teaching job in the DFW area and get my Master's degree in Childhood Ministry online while working fulltime as a teacher. And maybe a couple years after that, Tyler and I get married. We are in no hurry. A friend of mine told me the other day, I am the girl every guy would love to date. I want to get married and have kids, but I am in no rush to do so. I am just enjoying life and when it happens, I will be thrilled. But until then I'll continue to plan my wedding on Pinterest, have baby fever (Dana told me to kidnap little children as my new hobby), and just enjoy the moments that Tyler and I have to share.
God's plan for us is amazing I'm sure of it. And it will fall together as God wills it. I just have to be patient and thankful.
Blessings :)
Last night I made (pardon my french) an ass out of myself. Seriously if Tyler wasn't so understanding and an amazing boyfriend, I'd probably be single right now or in a HUGE fight. I'm not going into details as to what happened because I'd rather not relive that...it's pretty embarrassing on my part.
I've come to realize over the last month or so not only are Tyler and I finally for the first time in our relationship on the same page, but we truly enjoy time together. In a long distance relationship this can mean actual physical time, texting, phone calls, or Skyping. In the past, yes we have enjoyed each others company but we also were very selfish with and took advantage of it. We were together nearly everyday. When we weren't together we were usually fighting...over stupid things. One time Tyler and I went almost a week without seeing each other because he wanted me to come over to his house every night when I got off work. That meant I had worked at 8 hour shift, while he'd been sitting in class, playing video games, and/or working out. It would about 10:15 when I'd get off so that would put me at his house around 10:40. I usually had class the next morning at 8 am. Which meant I had to be up at 6 because I had to leave my house by 7:15 to avoid the school traffic and not get stuck in Robinson. Oh and my drive from Tyler's apartment to my house was easily a 30 minute drive, one night it took me an hour because the interstate was jammed. So I got fed up with having almost no sleep and nearly falling asleep at the wheel, I told him he could come see me or we wouldn't see each other that week. By Thursday he figured out I wasn't playing games and asked if he could come over. I explained to him I had plans to go out with some friends. That wasn't Tyler's scene so I knew he would not be going. Luckily I was off work the next day, and guess who was calling me at noon asking if we could get lunch and hang out for the day? Yep, my man!
He learned a valuable lesson...don't test me. I am not one to fall to test anxiety. I test extremely well without studying, and when I have studied...let's just say an A+ is nothing new to me! ;)
Anyways...I went up to see Tyler the weekend after his birthday. The first time since he moved, probably, that we spent 48 hours together. It was amazing!! We went out to eat Friday night and enjoyed each other's company followed by Pink Berry Frozen Yougart! And more laughing and talking. Saturday, I took Tyler to my favorite mall, NorthPark, and we went to the candy store. We got all of his favorite candies...except pez. Even a jawbreaker the size of my fist. He still hasn't decided the best way to eat it. Haha! When we left the mall it had started raining and we were both very hungry. So we continued to drive around Dallas for the next hour "looking" for somewhere to eat. We finally just went to Irving and grabbed hamburgers at Griff's.
During all of that though, Tyler and I both loosened up around each other and were joking and laughing and he was annoying the crap out of me. But it felt right. It felt like US again. At one point during our driving around aimlessly, Tyler looked over at me with the biggest smile and said, "You have missed me annoying you haven't you?" As he grabbed my hand to kiss it, I shamelessly had to admit...I missed him annoying me. I missed laughing with him and at him. I just missed being a couple.
Later that night, we met up with one of Tyler's best friends, Jacob. I love Jacob. He's a great friend to Tyler...and myself. I mean the guy came and celebrated my 21st with me! Good times. Anyways, while we were out and all three of us were laughing and talking and having a good time, Tyler stepped away for a minute...I guess to go to the bathroom, who really knows. Jacob put his arm around me, and asked if Tyler and I were doing okay. I FROZE! All I could think about was Tyler told him we weren't doing okay. And I gave him a half smile and said yes. He replied, "Good! I'm proud of you guys. Long distance is hard." And he continued, "You are my favorite of Tyler's girlfriends." Umm hi, did we just become best friends?! Stupid me all I could think to say was, "Awww! Jacob you're so sweet thank you." Freaking idiot. Your boyfriend's best friend just gave you the compliment of a lifetime and that's all you can say?! We hugged after I said that though, and just in time for Tyler to rejoin the group.
Sunday when I got ready to leave was hard though. We sat on the couch beside each other not saying anything. I hate that. We both know what's coming. Neither one of us wants to stat it so we avoid it as long as possible. Finally it got to be about that time so I walked to my room to gather my things. Tyler followed to help me carry them to my car. We loaded it up. Still not saying anything to each other, both silently hoping one of us had a good reason I should stay longer. I walked back and finally we both spoke. I told his Parents goodbye and thank you for allowing me to stay in their home. I checked my room one more time. Then we walked out to my car. I opened my door and laid everything down in the passenger floor board still attempting to avoid the matter at hand, but it couldn't wait any longer. Tyler pulled me into his arms for a long hug and kissed my forehead. We said our goodbyes and kissed. I pulled him back for one more hug and kiss. I quickly climbed in my car to avoid him seeing the tears in my eyes that were about to hit full force. I put my sunglasses on and managed to hold the tears in til I hit the highway. Then it was like the great flood the whole way home. I made it home in record time that day...1 hour 10 minutes. I'm not ashamed either.
The next week was the worst for me though. How was I suppose to handle having the best weekend ever and having to return home without him?! Well I dealt with it the way I deal with most hard things in my life. 1.) I really prayed about it. I talked to God almost constantly about it. & 2.) I avoided the subject like the plague. This is not a joke. I literally avoided the topic of my weekend for almost a week. Someone asked how it went, I replied with one word like, good or great, awesome. I was in the worst mood. But God talked back to me, and I AGAIN had to realize, that Tyler and I are called to live apart for awhile. At the moment I am called to live here, and he is called to live up there. And we both need to be respectable to what the Lord has asked of our relationship.
This isn't easy for us. But it's just another test for us. And as I said before, I excel at tests. I do not crack under pressure. I know God has a plan for our lives. I just have to respect God's decision to keep us in the dark as to when we will be reunited.
As of right now, the plan is for Tyler to work up there and get into Fire Academy while I am finishing school down here. As soon as I graduate, I plan to get a teaching job in the DFW area and get my Master's degree in Childhood Ministry online while working fulltime as a teacher. And maybe a couple years after that, Tyler and I get married. We are in no hurry. A friend of mine told me the other day, I am the girl every guy would love to date. I want to get married and have kids, but I am in no rush to do so. I am just enjoying life and when it happens, I will be thrilled. But until then I'll continue to plan my wedding on Pinterest, have baby fever (Dana told me to kidnap little children as my new hobby), and just enjoy the moments that Tyler and I have to share.
God's plan for us is amazing I'm sure of it. And it will fall together as God wills it. I just have to be patient and thankful.
Blessings :)
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
It is Only Wednesday
Yesterday I thought it was Wednesday but it felt like Thursday. I can't remember the last time a week dragged on so much and I was looking so forward to a weekend. The next two days I am scheduled to work 12-10:30. That 10:30 is used very loosely. It may not be til 11 or 12 when I actually get off. And then Friday I am working 8-4. I am then driving an hour and a half to Cedar Hill. I have so many things that I want to do when I get there but most likely a lot of our time will be spent on the couch watching tv.
For the first time in our relationship, I am okay with that. I am beginning to realize that my favorite time spent with Tyler is driving around Dallas getting lost or sitting on the couch doing nothing. Being close to him is all I long for at the end of the day. But I only get that once a month for a little over 24 hours most times. I miss holding his hand and getting big hugs from him. I can't believe I'm admitting this but I even miss when he picks me up and throws me around like I'm his rag doll. The boy is twice my size!
All I know is Friday can't get here any sooner. This week can't drag on any longer. And I've never wanted a hug so bad in my life. I never thought this was going to be easy, even for a second, but I also never thought that I could miss someone's dirty, stinky, one-bedroom ghetto apartment so much. Or even that disgusting couch that smelt like death and the springs came through. Or cooking dinner together and making deals on who had to clean the kitchen afterwards. But I do. The thing that gets me through it, is the thought of one day being back together and not having to worry about those two previous disgusting items. We will have much nicer things. :)
Be blessed. And may your week go by quicker and more swiftly than mine seems to be.
For the first time in our relationship, I am okay with that. I am beginning to realize that my favorite time spent with Tyler is driving around Dallas getting lost or sitting on the couch doing nothing. Being close to him is all I long for at the end of the day. But I only get that once a month for a little over 24 hours most times. I miss holding his hand and getting big hugs from him. I can't believe I'm admitting this but I even miss when he picks me up and throws me around like I'm his rag doll. The boy is twice my size!
All I know is Friday can't get here any sooner. This week can't drag on any longer. And I've never wanted a hug so bad in my life. I never thought this was going to be easy, even for a second, but I also never thought that I could miss someone's dirty, stinky, one-bedroom ghetto apartment so much. Or even that disgusting couch that smelt like death and the springs came through. Or cooking dinner together and making deals on who had to clean the kitchen afterwards. But I do. The thing that gets me through it, is the thought of one day being back together and not having to worry about those two previous disgusting items. We will have much nicer things. :)
Be blessed. And may your week go by quicker and more swiftly than mine seems to be.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Summoned to be a Juror
Oh Jury Duty! I could really do without you. I've been summoned. So I sit here waiting to go to court, I've had some time to catch up on some reading. I'm working on Eat, Pray, Love. I am also writing a blog separate from this on my journey as I read this book. I'm sort of wondering why I started it separate from this one. Since both are on myself discovery and growth of my relationship with God. But for whatever reason, I did.
I complain a lot about my dad don't I? How crappy he is. The lack of presence he has had in my life. I've never once thought about thanking him. Well yesterday, I thought about it. Today, I will implement it. If you read the other blog you will understand a little more why I have come to think this is so important. I really think this may be the way that I am able to forgive in and finally move on with my life.
So long. See ya later.
You know that kinda thing. Except, not see him later...I'm still not ready for that.
So here is the link to my other blog where I will post later today my thank you to my dad.
Those words just don't feel right on my lips. I hate saying them. Only about him though. I feel as though his title of sad should be revoked. So from now on you will probably hear (or see rather) me call him Douglas.
The blog that my thank you will be found at will be...
http://niki-eatpraylove.blogspot.com/
I complain a lot about my dad don't I? How crappy he is. The lack of presence he has had in my life. I've never once thought about thanking him. Well yesterday, I thought about it. Today, I will implement it. If you read the other blog you will understand a little more why I have come to think this is so important. I really think this may be the way that I am able to forgive in and finally move on with my life.
So long. See ya later.
You know that kinda thing. Except, not see him later...I'm still not ready for that.
So here is the link to my other blog where I will post later today my thank you to my dad.
Those words just don't feel right on my lips. I hate saying them. Only about him though. I feel as though his title of sad should be revoked. So from now on you will probably hear (or see rather) me call him Douglas.
The blog that my thank you will be found at will be...
http://niki-eatpraylove.blogspot.com/
Sunday, March 4, 2012
How I Met My Boyfriend
So today I've been catching up on my "How I Met Your Mother" episodes. Great show! I got to thinking I've told basically my whole story, but I have yet to tell how I met Tyler. He's the biggest part of my life.
So now I share... :)
Once Upon A Time...
Just kidding, Guys. But for real.
So anyways, mine and Tyler's meeting was totally by chance. God really wanted us to meet because there was quite a few things that almost prevented me from being at the right place at the right time. In order to fully understand the entire story, I have to go back a couple of months before Tyler and I actually met.
October 2009:
Traci and I had been planning for a couple of weeks to go to Preview Night (otherwise known as Suicide Night) at the Fair and Rodeo. Bart Crow Band was playing and we loved them. I had convinced a friend of mine from work that he and one of his buddies should come with us. It was going to be fun. A couple of hours before we were going to all meet up, homeboy naturally blew me off. I told Traci I didn't feel like going anymore. But she never listens to me. So I got dressed and we went to the concert.
There was a small crowd and the band was loud so we hung back near the coliseum and sat on some pillars. Laughing, and talking, and singing, and laughing, and people watching. Waco had some weird people. They say keep Austin weird...I think Waco might be more weird. Anyways, these two guys walk up to us and one of them says...(wait for it)...."So do you come here often?" Seriously, Bro? Nothing else came to you head as far as pick up lines? Traci and I almost erupted into laughter. She said, "Well, I mean, the fair only comes once a year, but yeah, when its here, you can find us here almost every night." That's how we met Bryce.
Bryce and Traci began talking and hanging out on regular basis. So when Traci's birthday came, it was no surprise Bryce was there.
Thursday, November 19th, 2009:
Traci picked me up from my house that night and we headed to our usual...George's Restaurant & Bar...to celebrate her birthday with our close friends. Traci was turning 18 so on her birthday we had plans to go to the club. To include all of those who were not yet 18, we had the birthday dinner. Bryce showed up and had two friends with him, Gaston and Tyler. But wait...this is not where Tyler and I "officially" meet. I was sitting by a good friend of mine, Seth. We were catching up and talking about old times. I barely looked in Tyler's direction other than to notice he was a total cutie and most like OUT OF MY LEAGUE. When we were all done eating dinner, we said goodbyes to everyone, but the 3 boys. The 5 of us then decided to go see the remake of Scrooge. That's when I officially met Tyler and Gaston. We were loud and obnoxious as Traci and I always are. Tyler sat in the row in front of us so I of course decided to annoy him and make him feel awkward (too bad Tyler is really good at being awkward already). After the movie we went to the parking lot and stood there talking for a few minutes. This is when I learned Tyler was not country or from a small town. He and Bryce did not know how to two-step. So Traci and I, took it upon ourselves to try to teach them, in the parking lot, with no music. I of course, erupted into laughter, I was so nervous. FAIL!
Tyler and Gaston later added me on Facebook were I had conversations with both and exchanged numbers with both of them. Saturday night came and we were all at Wild West. I had another guy with me. Long story. That I refuse to get in to. lol. Gaston decided he didn't care and talked to me all night. Tyler on the other hand ignored me. I seriously thought the boy had no interest in me. So Sunday evening when he started texting me like crazy I was a little blown away. Tyler and I continued to text all day Monday. I had the worst day. Tyler told me, he and Traci were hanging out that night so maybe they would swing by at work to see me. I told him that would be awesome.
Just so you know, I hate surprises...
So I am working my butt off after a long day of suckiness and school. And here comes Tyler...with a bouquet of daisies, a Dr. Pepper, and chocolate. I could have killed Traci at that moment because I realized at that moment she planned this. Little Jerk. I was totally blown away though. That was the sweetest thing a guy had ever done for me. We started "talking" that night. The next night we had our first kiss and Tyler says that's the moment he knew he loved me. I knew a week or so later when I was leaving his apartment one night and walked me to my car then returned to his balcony and watched me leave.
On December 6th, he asked me to be his girlfriend and told me he loved me. I said, "Yes! And I love you too!"
The rest...is history. We have had our ups, we have most definitely had our downs. But we've stuck with each other. Two and half years later we are living in two separate cities, living separate lives, but still madly in love. I knew he was the one when he took me home and I met his family. All I could think about was how much I wanted exactly what they had.
Be blessed :) And may love find you in the strangest of places...like the bar you frequented as a teenager for the amazing, greasy food. :)
So now I share... :)
Once Upon A Time...
Just kidding, Guys. But for real.
So anyways, mine and Tyler's meeting was totally by chance. God really wanted us to meet because there was quite a few things that almost prevented me from being at the right place at the right time. In order to fully understand the entire story, I have to go back a couple of months before Tyler and I actually met.
October 2009:
Traci and I had been planning for a couple of weeks to go to Preview Night (otherwise known as Suicide Night) at the Fair and Rodeo. Bart Crow Band was playing and we loved them. I had convinced a friend of mine from work that he and one of his buddies should come with us. It was going to be fun. A couple of hours before we were going to all meet up, homeboy naturally blew me off. I told Traci I didn't feel like going anymore. But she never listens to me. So I got dressed and we went to the concert.
There was a small crowd and the band was loud so we hung back near the coliseum and sat on some pillars. Laughing, and talking, and singing, and laughing, and people watching. Waco had some weird people. They say keep Austin weird...I think Waco might be more weird. Anyways, these two guys walk up to us and one of them says...(wait for it)...."So do you come here often?" Seriously, Bro? Nothing else came to you head as far as pick up lines? Traci and I almost erupted into laughter. She said, "Well, I mean, the fair only comes once a year, but yeah, when its here, you can find us here almost every night." That's how we met Bryce.
Bryce and Traci began talking and hanging out on regular basis. So when Traci's birthday came, it was no surprise Bryce was there.
Thursday, November 19th, 2009:
Traci picked me up from my house that night and we headed to our usual...George's Restaurant & Bar...to celebrate her birthday with our close friends. Traci was turning 18 so on her birthday we had plans to go to the club. To include all of those who were not yet 18, we had the birthday dinner. Bryce showed up and had two friends with him, Gaston and Tyler. But wait...this is not where Tyler and I "officially" meet. I was sitting by a good friend of mine, Seth. We were catching up and talking about old times. I barely looked in Tyler's direction other than to notice he was a total cutie and most like OUT OF MY LEAGUE. When we were all done eating dinner, we said goodbyes to everyone, but the 3 boys. The 5 of us then decided to go see the remake of Scrooge. That's when I officially met Tyler and Gaston. We were loud and obnoxious as Traci and I always are. Tyler sat in the row in front of us so I of course decided to annoy him and make him feel awkward (too bad Tyler is really good at being awkward already). After the movie we went to the parking lot and stood there talking for a few minutes. This is when I learned Tyler was not country or from a small town. He and Bryce did not know how to two-step. So Traci and I, took it upon ourselves to try to teach them, in the parking lot, with no music. I of course, erupted into laughter, I was so nervous. FAIL!
Tyler and Gaston later added me on Facebook were I had conversations with both and exchanged numbers with both of them. Saturday night came and we were all at Wild West. I had another guy with me. Long story. That I refuse to get in to. lol. Gaston decided he didn't care and talked to me all night. Tyler on the other hand ignored me. I seriously thought the boy had no interest in me. So Sunday evening when he started texting me like crazy I was a little blown away. Tyler and I continued to text all day Monday. I had the worst day. Tyler told me, he and Traci were hanging out that night so maybe they would swing by at work to see me. I told him that would be awesome.
Just so you know, I hate surprises...
So I am working my butt off after a long day of suckiness and school. And here comes Tyler...with a bouquet of daisies, a Dr. Pepper, and chocolate. I could have killed Traci at that moment because I realized at that moment she planned this. Little Jerk. I was totally blown away though. That was the sweetest thing a guy had ever done for me. We started "talking" that night. The next night we had our first kiss and Tyler says that's the moment he knew he loved me. I knew a week or so later when I was leaving his apartment one night and walked me to my car then returned to his balcony and watched me leave.
On December 6th, he asked me to be his girlfriend and told me he loved me. I said, "Yes! And I love you too!"
The rest...is history. We have had our ups, we have most definitely had our downs. But we've stuck with each other. Two and half years later we are living in two separate cities, living separate lives, but still madly in love. I knew he was the one when he took me home and I met his family. All I could think about was how much I wanted exactly what they had.
"...but I feel that when you love a person sooo much like I love you, every moment spent with you brings us closer and closer."
Tyler told me that one day and I will never forget it. That is a boy after my heart! I love him so much. So now you know...with my super, super long blog.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
We Are Not Cousins, We Are Best Friends
So I don't know about you, but I am completely blessed to have a family that loves and encourages me the way mine does. Not only that but they are also understanding. Most of all I am blessed to have a sister and cousin who are the best friends I could ever ask for. I've already shared about Dana so now it's Taylor's turn.
Let me get something clear...Taylor and I weren't always this close. We grew up together. But she was my just my cousin. Now that we are 18 and 21, she is one of my closest friends and knows the most about me, other than Dana. I confide in Taylor and cry in front of her and with her. Over the last 3 years, I feel like when one of us has broken up with a boyfriend, we both felt that heart-brokenness that the other felt or if when of us got a boyfriend we both experienced the joy and giddiness. It sounds gay and a little ridiculous, but that's seriously how close we are. If I go a week without hearing from or seeing Taylor, I have withdraws.
Taylor has been there for me a lot since May. I have cried in front of her so many times. I think a couple of times we've both cried over the matter. I don't want Taylor hating my dad or looking at him any differently because that's her uncle. But Taylor reassures me, she already didn't like him before this, and now she has a good reason. She is awesome!
Although things aren't always butterflies and rainbows for us. We fight like any other friends would. Okay, no disagree. Yeah that's better wording. We don't fight. We are very blunt with each other but we respect each others honesty. My grandparents have this little pink cup that Taylor and I fight over though. It was mine first!
But seriously, I'd be lost without this kid. She and Dana get me through some really dark days. I thank God every morning for them. I love those girls to pieces.
Let me get something clear...Taylor and I weren't always this close. We grew up together. But she was my just my cousin. Now that we are 18 and 21, she is one of my closest friends and knows the most about me, other than Dana. I confide in Taylor and cry in front of her and with her. Over the last 3 years, I feel like when one of us has broken up with a boyfriend, we both felt that heart-brokenness that the other felt or if when of us got a boyfriend we both experienced the joy and giddiness. It sounds gay and a little ridiculous, but that's seriously how close we are. If I go a week without hearing from or seeing Taylor, I have withdraws.
Taylor has been there for me a lot since May. I have cried in front of her so many times. I think a couple of times we've both cried over the matter. I don't want Taylor hating my dad or looking at him any differently because that's her uncle. But Taylor reassures me, she already didn't like him before this, and now she has a good reason. She is awesome!
Although things aren't always butterflies and rainbows for us. We fight like any other friends would. Okay, no disagree. Yeah that's better wording. We don't fight. We are very blunt with each other but we respect each others honesty. My grandparents have this little pink cup that Taylor and I fight over though. It was mine first!
But seriously, I'd be lost without this kid. She and Dana get me through some really dark days. I thank God every morning for them. I love those girls to pieces.
Cool Story, Bro!
So I know Kaylee and Makenzie are going to be thrilled to see that title because it's kind of an insider between the three of us. So many memories from last summer. But unfortunately I'm not reminiscing about the good times or talking about our insider...it's an insider for a reason. I can't tell the whole world our secrets.
Anyways, the world or culture/society today has given us the worst, most stupid advice about love and we believe it. My favorite of all is, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Honestly, I believe anyone who has ever told someone else that has never been away from their significant other for more than a week tops. That old saying is a load of crap! Yes, I am more in love with Tyler than I was 7 months ago, but I promise you it's not the distance that made me fall more in love with him. I tried to break up with Tyler a month after he moved because I hated the distance, short phone calls, and super-short visits once a month. I wanted to not care anymore. Luckily I'm head over heels for that boy and he convinced me to stick around because it would get easier. He's full of crap to ya know. It hasn't gotten easier. I've just grown accustom to it all. And God has helped a lot.
Our society also makes it seem that long distance relationships have the inevitable cheating on the significant other. False! Tyler and I have never cheated on each other nor do I ever see it being a problem in our future. Those who cheat have major issues with God, trust, honesty, and ect. Tyler and I have no problems with any of the above. And God is the center of not having any of those problems. I am so glad that I have a man by my side that loves God as much as I do. I am totally blessed to have him.
I just think our society/culture has some crooked ideas about relationships, but that just my opinion. And hey who am I? Just a small town girl who loves a boy that lives in the big city 2 hours away. Oh well, there's my rant.
Be blessed! :)
Anyways, the world or culture/society today has given us the worst, most stupid advice about love and we believe it. My favorite of all is, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Honestly, I believe anyone who has ever told someone else that has never been away from their significant other for more than a week tops. That old saying is a load of crap! Yes, I am more in love with Tyler than I was 7 months ago, but I promise you it's not the distance that made me fall more in love with him. I tried to break up with Tyler a month after he moved because I hated the distance, short phone calls, and super-short visits once a month. I wanted to not care anymore. Luckily I'm head over heels for that boy and he convinced me to stick around because it would get easier. He's full of crap to ya know. It hasn't gotten easier. I've just grown accustom to it all. And God has helped a lot.
Our society also makes it seem that long distance relationships have the inevitable cheating on the significant other. False! Tyler and I have never cheated on each other nor do I ever see it being a problem in our future. Those who cheat have major issues with God, trust, honesty, and ect. Tyler and I have no problems with any of the above. And God is the center of not having any of those problems. I am so glad that I have a man by my side that loves God as much as I do. I am totally blessed to have him.
I just think our society/culture has some crooked ideas about relationships, but that just my opinion. And hey who am I? Just a small town girl who loves a boy that lives in the big city 2 hours away. Oh well, there's my rant.
Be blessed! :)
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