Six months ago, I was torn to absolute pieces over some things my dad had said to me. I have been incredibly lucky to have such wonderful boyfriend to pick me up off the ground, set me back on my feet, dust me off, dry my tears, and promise the world to me. God has truly blessed me. Tyler has been there for me every time I have stumbled. He just wants me happy. The last few months have been hard not being able to see him whenever I desire to, or hold him when I just want to feel loved. The smallest things mean the absolute world to me now. Holding his hand or getting a kiss on the forehead are things that I get weak at the knees over now. Tuesday we will have been together for 2 years. I was looking forward to getting to go see him, but due to my car breaking down, we will be spending it an hour and a half away from each other.
Since Tyler left Waco, I got involved in a Bible study, which has now formed into "The Fellowship." These people are some of the most amazing, wonderful, genuine, God-fearing people you'll ever meet. I have cried in front of them and with them. They have taught me so much about myself. I can't even begin to describe how much they mean to me. We have lost a friend or two along the way, but we have also gained several friends. This group is like a family. We help each other out, give hugs, laugh, cry, talk, eat, hang-out together, and most of all fellowship together. God is going to use this group in incredible way, and I am so blessed to not only be apart of it but watch it all unfold. It's going to great and glorious.
I have an amazing family. God truly blessed me with some AWESOME people that love me no matter what. I still haven't spoken to my dad, partly because I'm hard headed, but mostly because I'm tired of getting hurt. I love that man no matter how much it hurts to admit that at times, but I won't be the first to make a move this time. He has to be. He's almost 50. It's time for him to grow up and realize what he's done and said was immature and wrong. Until then I pray for him and his new family. It's the best I can do.
Even though things have been difficult and this has been a really hard year, some really amazing things have come of it all. I know that Tyler and I will appreciate this time apart eventually. At the moment, I count the days til we see each other again and pray these next two years go by quickly!
"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, i'll always be with you." -Winnie the Pooh
