Did We Just Become Best Friends?!

I am listening to Sara Evan's song "Perfect" right now. I love this song. I always have. Tyler and I don't have a perfect relationship, and this song reminds me that it is okay. As long as we love each other, then that in itself makes our love perfect.

Last night I made (pardon my french) an ass out of myself. Seriously if Tyler wasn't so understanding and an amazing boyfriend, I'd probably be single right now or in a HUGE fight. I'm not going into details as to what happened because I'd rather not relive that...it's pretty embarrassing on my part.

I've come to realize over the last month or so not only are Tyler and I finally for the first time in our relationship on the same page, but we truly enjoy time together. In a long distance relationship this can mean actual physical time, texting, phone calls, or Skyping. In the past, yes we have enjoyed each others company but we also were very selfish with and took advantage of it. We were together nearly everyday. When we weren't together we were usually fighting...over stupid things. One time Tyler and I went almost a week without seeing each other because he wanted me to come over to his house every night when I got off work. That meant I had worked at 8 hour shift, while he'd been sitting in class, playing video games, and/or working out. It would about 10:15 when I'd get off so that would put me at his house around 10:40. I usually had class the next morning at 8 am. Which meant I had to be up at 6 because I had to leave my house by 7:15 to avoid the school traffic and not get stuck in Robinson. Oh and my drive from Tyler's apartment to my house was easily a 30 minute drive, one night it took me an hour because the interstate was jammed. So I got fed up with having almost no sleep and nearly falling asleep at the wheel, I told him he could come see me or we wouldn't see each other that week. By Thursday he figured out I wasn't playing games and asked if he could come over. I explained to him I had plans to go out with some friends. That wasn't Tyler's scene so I knew he would not be going. Luckily I was off work the next day, and guess who was calling me at noon asking if we could get lunch and hang out for the day? Yep, my man!

He learned a valuable lesson...don't test me. I am not one to fall to test anxiety. I test extremely well without studying, and when I have studied...let's just say an A+ is nothing new to me! ;)

Anyways...I went up to see Tyler the weekend after his birthday. The first time since he moved, probably, that we spent 48 hours together. It was amazing!! We went out to eat Friday night and enjoyed each other's company followed by Pink Berry Frozen Yougart! And more laughing and talking. Saturday, I took Tyler to my favorite mall, NorthPark, and we went to the candy store. We got all of his favorite candies...except pez. Even a jawbreaker the size of my fist. He still hasn't decided the best way to eat it. Haha! When we left the mall it had started raining and we were both very hungry. So we continued to drive around Dallas for the next hour "looking" for somewhere to eat. We finally just went to Irving and grabbed hamburgers at Griff's.

During all of that though, Tyler and I both loosened up around each other and were joking and laughing and he was annoying the crap out of me. But it felt right. It felt like US again. At one point during our driving around aimlessly, Tyler looked over at me with the biggest smile and said, "You have missed me annoying you haven't you?" As he grabbed my hand to kiss it, I shamelessly had to admit...I missed him annoying me. I missed laughing with him and at him. I just missed being a couple.

Later that night, we met up with one of Tyler's best friends, Jacob. I love Jacob. He's a great friend to Tyler...and myself. I mean the guy came and celebrated my 21st with me! Good times. Anyways, while we were out and all three of us were laughing and talking and having a good time, Tyler stepped away for a minute...I guess to go to the bathroom, who really knows. Jacob put his arm around me, and asked if Tyler and I were doing okay. I FROZE! All I could think about was Tyler told him we weren't doing okay. And I gave him a half smile and said yes. He replied, "Good! I'm proud of you guys. Long distance is hard." And he continued, "You are my favorite of Tyler's girlfriends." Umm hi, did we just become best friends?! Stupid me all I could think to say was, "Awww! Jacob you're so sweet thank you." Freaking idiot. Your boyfriend's best friend just gave you the compliment of a lifetime and that's all you can say?! We hugged after I said that though, and just in time for Tyler to rejoin the group.

Sunday when I got ready to leave was hard though. We sat on the couch beside each other not saying anything. I hate that. We both know what's coming. Neither one of us wants to stat it so we avoid it as long as possible. Finally it got to be about that time so I walked to my room to gather my things. Tyler followed to help me carry them to my car. We loaded it up. Still not saying anything to each other, both silently hoping one of us had a good reason I should stay longer. I walked back and finally we both spoke. I told his Parents goodbye and thank you for allowing me to stay in their home. I checked my room one more time. Then we walked out to my car. I opened my door and laid everything down in the passenger floor board still attempting to avoid the matter at hand, but it couldn't wait any longer. Tyler pulled me into his arms for a long hug and kissed my forehead. We said our goodbyes and kissed. I pulled him back for one more hug and kiss. I quickly climbed in my car to avoid him seeing the tears in my eyes that were about to hit full force. I put my sunglasses on and managed to hold the tears in til I hit the highway. Then it was like the great flood the whole way home. I made it home in record time that day...1 hour 10 minutes. I'm not ashamed either.

The next week was the worst for me though. How was I suppose to handle having the best weekend ever and having to return home without him?! Well I dealt with it the way I deal with most hard things in my life. 1.) I really prayed about it. I talked to God almost constantly about it. & 2.) I avoided the subject like the plague. This is not a joke. I literally avoided the topic of my weekend for almost a week. Someone asked how it went, I replied with one word like, good or great, awesome. I was in the worst mood. But God talked back to me, and I AGAIN had to realize, that Tyler and I are called to live apart for awhile. At the moment I am called to live here, and he is called to live up there. And we both need to be respectable to what the Lord has asked of our relationship.

This isn't easy for us. But it's just another test for us. And as I said before, I excel at tests. I do not crack under pressure. I know God has a plan for our lives. I just have to respect God's decision to keep us in the dark as to when we will be reunited.

As of right now, the plan is for Tyler to work up there and get into Fire Academy while I am finishing school down here. As soon as I graduate, I plan to get a teaching job in the DFW area and get my Master's degree in Childhood Ministry online while working fulltime as a teacher. And maybe a couple years after that, Tyler and I get married. We are in no hurry. A friend of mine told me the other day, I am the girl every guy would love to date. I want to get married and have kids, but I am in no rush to do so. I am just enjoying life and when it happens, I will be thrilled. But until then I'll continue to plan my wedding on Pinterest, have baby fever (Dana told me to kidnap little children as my new hobby), and just enjoy the moments that Tyler and I have to share.

God's plan for us is amazing I'm sure of it. And it will fall together as God wills it. I just have to be patient and thankful.

Blessings :)