Lord of Empty Space

I am listening to the Tenth Avenue North station on Pandora. The song You Are is playing. He is singing, "Take me apart." I want God to take me apart. It's kind of convicting in a different way. How many times do I give everything to God, and just tell Him, "Here do with me as you please. Use me. Take me apart." Honestly, the saddest thing is I don't think I have ever said that. I need to be more open to God's Will for me, and not what I want for me. That is just so hard for me to grasp. I think it is hard for most of us, if not all of us to grasp, honestly.

Anyways, I finally finished Donald Miller's book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Again, I am feeling incredibly convicted...to create a better story for myself. If someone looked at my life would they be impressed or bored? Seriously if someone looked at my life, they would probably tell me to stop using everyone around me as my excuse to hold back. I had to rephrase that. I almost said...to stop allowing people to hold me back...but that's not the case. No one is holding me back but myself, but I am using others as my excuse. I have to stop. I have to great a better story. Not for myself, but for others. For God. God would want me to live a better story so I can glorify His name in the process.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." - Maya Angelou

When I was reading the book, you would have thought it was a text book and I was getting quizzed over it. I highlighted things that I thought I really need to focus on, and I took notes. I questioned myself, I wrote prayers to God asking Him to reveal things to me and help me create a better story, and interpreting what I had read. Miller says in his book, "Part of me wonders if our stories aren't being stolen by the easy life." I wonder the same thing. Am I so scared of change, of tears, of challenge that I am okay with living a boring, depressing life because that's what I am comfortable with and it's easy to maintain? I am not okay with this! And neither is God. I don't want a better story for testimony purposes or anything like that. I want a better story because I want to be ingrained in people's memories. 

"Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets before each individual."

I haven't figured out how I am going to create a better story, but I am going to do it. With God by my side what do I have to lose? Nothing too valuable. I'll keep you posted on how I'm going to create a meaningful story with my life! 

By the way, read that book. You can borrow it from me if you want. :)